Okay, among other wacky things since I quit smoking I've been having these weird-ass vivid dreams. Last night I'm helping this old guy cut up and remove a tree that was blocking a small dirt road, and we look over to this building/tree (it was both, sort of a Giger-esque monstrosity of architecture) and these humungous sloths were cavorting around in it like monkeys, swinging from branches etc, and I turn to the old guy and say "c'mon, man, giant sloths don't exist!" and he looks at me very sagely and says "This is a dream, mate, they exist in dreams." And I thought, well fair enough then!

Okay so some dream-time later I'm walking around on a wet sports field, and I see this baby swan (the size of a real, adult swan) so I start patting it's head. Then all of a sudden I'm being chased by its mother, this GIANT swan that stood easily like 18-20 feet tall with a huge beak, it looked like some prehistoric beast, and i was fending off its violent pecks as it chased me around trying to kill me for daring to touch its offspring.

Why can't I just dream about naked chicks?