Hello and welcome to everyone's favorite Thursday-night-liveblog-of-a-horror-television-show-airing-on-NBC-at-10:

What can I say.  Know your audience.  Feeling particularly good about this week's.  Why you might ask?  Remember how I keep mentioning the unnecessary drubbing another site gives this show?  This is a quote from their review of this week's episode, "Eater" (by Stuart Gordon of Re-Animator, Dagon, and now all 3 seasons of Masters of Horror):  "While "Eater" isn’t quite the 360-turn this series needed, it’s downright Emmy-worthy compared to its predecessors."  So if the people  who've said EVERY episode is awful and terrible suddenly say that this one's actually good....this one is probably the greatest television show ever to air.  But we shall see shan't we.

Oh and sidebar:  It must be nice to get pre-screeners from a network when all you do is bash the show mercilessly.  The review on their site for this ep actually says that the other directors thus far have been (quoting) "repeatedly humping Rod Serling’s bloated corpse".  First, that's disrespectful.  Second, incorrect as I've tried to show.  And Third, just completely unnecessary.  If you think it's bad say so, but don't pointlessly bring up necrophilia.  But I digress.

959PM:  REALLY?  LAST COMIC STANDING IS DOING CONFESSIONALS IN A GRAVEYARD THIS SEASON?  OH COME ON.

1000PM:  Wow.  um....taallllll.  And nice boots.

1001PM:  Gotta admit the set's looking a touch subpar this time.  Or at least the cell is.

1002PM:  Anyone else realize that removing a prisoners handcuffs can be a really bad idea when you're in the cell with him?  Just a thought.

1002PM:  Oh we got a winner here.  nice laugh.

1003PM:  Are you telling me this guy's a shaman or something?  And this was creepy enough WITHOUT the dream sequence/flashback cgi over the chant.

1004PM:  All right, that's it.  Here.  The lyrics to Lie, Lie, Lie.  SEEEEE WHY I DON'T LIKE IT BEING USED AS A HORROR THEME THOUGH I LOVE THE SONG?

1005PM:  NO IT ISNT.  I'm sorry, maybe i'm jaded from having seen The Matrix and Shoot 'Em Up which are INFINITELY better as action movies, but Wanted, while good, was really really overblown for me.

1007PM:  Dear NBC:  Just because a show was popular in another country doesn't mean that it will ALWAYS translate over.  I will probably watch this as it has an Arrested Development feel from the trailer, but don't keep hoping lightning will keep striking like it did with The Office.

1008PM:  Death Dance?  SO THAT'S WHY FANGORIA'S BEEN COVERING THIS PARTICULAR EP SO HARD.  GOD I HATE ADVERTORIAL, CORRECT OR NOT.

1009PM:  Silence of the Lambs much?  good thus far, but derivative.  I mean come on she even has a male-esque name.  (And if anyone here knows about masculine-feminine characters, its me, but we've already covered that whole thing elsewhere)

1010PM:  Gotta admit I like this introduction to our prisoner.  The little flashback vid.

1011PM:  32?  wooooow he was a busy boy.  wait dont....OH JESUS.  For the love of God Mr. Gordon don't crib so hard from Silence of the Lambs, it's embarassing.  AND DON'T HAVE YOUR CHARACTERS POINT IT OUT!  JEEZ.

1012PM:  It's occurring to me btw, that having half your characters insult the character who's kinda like the viewer in personal tastes isnt so smart necessarily.

1012PM 2:  Nice photos.

1013PM:  Ok, I'm just gonna come right out and say this.  Geeez the other cops are unlikeable.  I imagine that's the point though.

1014PM:  now there's something you don't expect on network tv.  Blowup doll.  A decent boundary push.  And nice arm tattoos too.

1015PM:  WILL YOU STOP WITH THE DAMN WAVY CGI?

1015PM 2:  Oh the PTC is going to LOOOOVE this ep.  Nicely done on that one.  Very twisted.  I should mention I just watched Deep Red before this btw, so if I dont come off as easily impressed, thatd be why.  This is at least as good as the rest thus far though.

1016PM:  I really hope that wasn't a bad place to put the commercial.  There was serious tension builtup there that they just kinda shot.

1018PM:  Um what the hell.....JG Wentworth is doing an ad here....of an opera about loans.  I feel like I'm on acid.  And not in a good way.

1018PM 2:  Planning to watch the original very soon so i'll be ready to see the sequel as well.  (Hellboy 2 trailer)

1020PM:  It's snowing outside the station?  odd....

1021PM:  Oh that's beautiful.  ooooo tasty.  Pancreas, large intestine......the fake eye was nice too.  But wow that cop is slimy.

1021PM 2:  WILL YOU STOP REFERENCING OTHER MOVIES?  NOW YOU'RE POINTING OUT THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PARALLELS!

1022PM:  I admit that the fat cop is very interesting.  creepy without being overtly so.

1023PM:  Someone's waaaaaaaaaaay too excited about this guy.

1025PM:  Now that I think about it, ironically, this cell looks just like the one in Nightmare on Elm Street.  Boy they're just throwing the references aren't they.

1025PM 2:  Nice jump scare.  WHY....would you drink what he gave you with how he's acting?  Seriously.  I'm gonna bet it's blood.

1026PM:  Ok, wait.  are we really sitting here criminally profiling....LIKE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS?  and also, I'm hoping I havent already pinned down the ending already.

1029PM:  Don't die on us?  What is this, E.R.?  Don't get me wrong, I get the point of the line, that thought just came to mind.

1029PM 2:  See, now that was an appropriate commercial place and a nice surprise.  And I cannot wait for Dark Knight.

1031PM:  Oh...MY....GOD!.  NOTE TO LOCAL NEWS!  I DONT CARE ABOUT THE STUPID PREGNANT MAN STORY AND "HIM" GIVING BIRTH!  That does not belong in top stories.

1034PM:  Why on earth is the damn cell unlocked in the first place?  I'm really not liking what I'm seeing coming here.

1036PM:  I love this psychological stuff in this ep.

1037PM:  Why is the fact that it's snowing so hard outside bothering me so much.

1038PM:  And there we go just kinda sorta like I thought.  We'll see if it leads to what I think it will.  You can do far better with the gore though if this wasn't network.  It's a good try though.

1039PM:  Oh if only giving a woman a bucket of hot wings were all it took to get a date.  God I hate hollywood sometimes.

1042PM:  We're running out of Dateline ideas eh?  A whole ep on tornadoes?

1042PM 2:  Again with the frigging wiggly stuff.  There are so many more original ways to convey black magic.

1043PM:  Thank you for verbalizing my theory about the ending!

1045PM:  I do want to make it clear:  I do like this episode a lot.  It's got a lot of tension and is very gripping.  But one thing's for sure.  It is annoying just how much it references other stuff in dialogue.

1046PM:  Coooooool

1047PM:  What the hell.............YES!  VERY NICE.  Theory's still alive.

1049PM:  As a side thought, in case people are curious since I doubt a trailer for Hancock will air here, I loved it and it continues to prove my theory that we need more specialized critics from the populace.  The critics hate it.  But the everyday people love it according to critic sites user reviews.

1050PM:  Still thankful that I don't watch America's Got Talent.

1050PM:  NICE VOICE.  GOD I LOVE PROPERLY DONE CAJUN.  Even though I'm thinking I called it.  Yeah, I called it.

1053PM:  I don't know why but I really liked that line.  and the eat your heart out line.

1053PM:  OHHHHH VERY NICE.

1054PM:  WILL YOU JUST BREAK THE DAMN GLASS?

1055PM:  HEY THERE WAS AN ACTUAL GOOD USE FOR THE CGI!  *APPLAUSE*

1055PM 2:  The Eater ranks up there with Moonface for me in Masters of Horror history btw.  Great villain who'd be good in his own full-length movie.

1056PM:  OH please say they're goin dark.

1057PM:  This is why you don't put a criminal like this in a minimum security prison.

1058PM:  YES!  For a minute I didnt think they went dark enough on that.

1058PM 2:  AND WE GET B*TCH ON NETWORK TV AGAIN.  NICE.  and nice ending.

1059PM:  According to the preview just now, Fear Itself will not be new next week so no liveblog till two thursdays from now.  Just a note.  Will still blog otherwise though prolly.

OVERALL:  *reads the other review fully*.  Uh huh....well they agree with me on the fact that the silence of the lambs references are way too heavy.  But then they can't even praise the episode right, saying it runs into a wall and ends with a conclusion that is:  "random, downbeat and just plain silly".  Look, here's the facts.  The degree of references to Silence of the Lambs and other films do get massively annoying.  And yes, I did predict the BIG twist in the story very early on.  BUT.  The gore's high, the tension's good and ratchets up very well, the atmosphere is fantastic, and I think the villain puts this episode over the top, beyond just a Silence of the Lambs clone.  A very good episode with a beautiful dark ending that overall ranks with Family Man and The Sacrifice as the best of the series for me thus far.

Until next time everyone.....Bon Appetit.  ;-)