Step lively there, young nieces and nephews, because we're going on a march.  We're marching down to the Land of Cotton--Louisiana, to be exact.  We're marching smack-dab into the middle of the Civil War (or as it's known in these parts--The War of Northern Agression).  It might be a good idea to leave any blue shirts at home today kiddos.  They don't cotton much to the color blue down here. That sound you hear is not one of our howler-monkey cousins--it's the dreaded Rebel Yell and that smell is gunpowder.  We're not the only ones marching here.  Death marches here too--and it marches to the beat of a drum. 

We're trying to catch up with a certain handsome young Yankee who's been wounded and is lost in the thick undergrowth near the mighty Missisippi River.  We'll follow him to a finishing school for fine Southern ladies, where our Yankee friend is about to to learn some lessons about how to treat Southern women.  During the Civil War southern women suffered and learned to tolerate many things.  They tolerated their husbands, brothers, sons, and fathers being killed, their crops burned, their ports blockaded, their slaves freed, their cities burned, but there's one thing they never learned to to tolerate and you had best remember: You never break a Southern woman's heart.  Now let's slowly settle into this thick, rich, and steamy (Lawdy--it's hot as cheese grits!) movie.  It's called The Beguiled.

This one-of-a-kind movie is part war-suspense-romance-southern gothic and horror.  All blended together to provide a taste as irresistable as a good gumbo with a nice suprise or two hidden inside like  a New Orleans king cake.

Now we have to talk about ol' Clint Eastwood a little--this will probably be his only appearance in the land of Dustie Musties. ( I don't think Play Misty For Me is Dustie or Mustie enough.)  He was in Revenge of The Creature and Tarantula (definitely a Duste Mustie) but his roles were very small in those films.  You know him as Rowdy Yates, Dirty Harry Callahan, Frankie Dunn, Bill Munny, Josey Wales, even Philo Beddoe and perhaps most famously as "The Man with no Name" in Sergio Leone's great spaghetti westerns.  I could write so much about Clint--even Stallone, Steve McQueen,  and Bruce Willis have to step aside for him as he is the only actor who could legitimately challenge John Wayne as the greatest action star ever.  A true living legend who is now one of the best directors in Hollywood.

A little Clint trivia:

He was in the army during the Korean War and when his plane crashed in the Pacific, he swam several miles to shore, earning him the post of boot camp swimming instructor.

He did his own stunt work in the mountain climbing scenes in the Eiger Sanction because he thought it was too dangerous to ask a stuntman to do.

It was his idea to wear the poncho in the spaghetti westerns.

Coming off a string of hugely sucessful westerns that had made him an international star, Clint was drawn to this movie because it was different and complex and gave him a chance to act - to do "something besides gunning people down".  He plays the part of the Union (Yankee) soldier, John McBurney,  in The Beguiled and is a villain, as is almost every character in this film.  I don't believe I've ever seen Clint as slimey and dishonest and generally up to no good as he is here.  It's easy to see why Clint enjoyed this role as McBurney is a true cad.

The Beguiled was produced and directed by Don Siegel.  We'll have to talk about Siegel for a moment because he was a great director and like Clint, this will probably be his only appearance in Dusty Mustie land.  He was a man's man of a director.  He directed John Wayne in the Shootist, Steve McQueen in Hell is for Heroes, Lee Marvin and Ronald Reagan in The Killers, Charles Bronson in Telefon, and even Elvis Presley in Flaming Star.  He was also the director of one of the best genre films of the fifties:  1956's Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  Clint Eastwood once said that every thing he knew about filmmaking, he had learned from Don Siegel.  Siegel was also a mentor to Sam Peckinpah.  Before The Beguiled, Siegel had already directed Eastwood in Two Mules For Sister Sara and Coogan's Bluff and woul later go on to direct him in Escape from Alcatraz and the magnificent Dirty Harry.  The Beguiled was based on Thomas Cullinan's novel and Siegel said he wanted to make this movie because it was a woen's film--not for women, but about women.  Siegel called this film a combination of Ambrose Bierce, Edgar Allen Poe, Tennessee Williams, and Truman Capote.

The headmistress of the school, Miss Martha Farnsworth is portrayed by the woderful actress Geraldine Page.  Geraldine was a huge Broadway star and wife to Rip Torn.  Eastwood even had doubts and was nervous about working with her, thinking she was out of his league.  Once she admitted to him that she was a big fan of his from the Rawhide days, he was able to relax.

In 1952 she had become the first person in an off-Broadway play to win the Drama Critics Award.  She was nominated for 4 Tony Awards and 8 Oscars, finally winning one for Best Actress in The Trip To Bountiful.  She turned down the roles of Regan's mother in The Exorcist and Nurse Ratchett in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, but was the voice of Madame Medusa in Disney's Little Mermaid.

"Well Uncle Pump", as Josey Wales would say, "Are you gonna whistle Dixie or you gonna talk about the movie itself?"  The Beguiled was made in 1971 and although many of the interior scenes were shot at good ol' Universal Studios, the outside scenes were filmed near the banks of the Mississippi about 25 miles south of Baton Rouge at the Ashland Estate/Plantation Belle Helene, which was once the largest slave-holding plantation in Louisiana. A large chunk of the budget was spent on restoring the rundown mansion and converting it into a finishing school for young ladies.

I saw this underated and almost unknown film as the back-half of a drive-in double feature back in the early seventies.  I saw it several times since and I'm pleased to now have it in my collection.  It's original, creepy, well-made, with great acting. 

The Beguiled didn't do well at the box office, though, and Universal actually lost money on the film.  Clint thought that it was poorly marketed.  Eastwood fans didn't turn out to see it because they wanted to see him in westerns as a gunfighter and  he lost the Horror fans because Eastwood movies didn't have an appeal to folks looking for a Horror movie. I think everyone else thought it was a romance movie.

The movie starts in a fog-shrouded Louisiana swamp overhung with Spanish moss and a great opening line of, "My Daddy died that way--crawled off in the bushes and bled to death".  Kind of sums up most wars, don't it?  And if you are offended by the "N" word, watch out for this film because it is used freely.

Eastwood as McBurney is found near death by adorable little Amy, who is out picking mushrooms.  Amy is portrayed by Pamelyn Ferdin who was a very sucessful child actor of the time.   She appeared on shows as diverse as Night Gallery, Gunsmoke, Brady Bunch, Green Acres, even Star Trek and auditioned for the role of Regan in the Exorcist, but lost out to Linda Blair.  She would later appear as Laurie in The Toolbox Murders and the voice of Fern in the animated Charlotte's Web.  Amy helps the bloody, burned, and wounded McBurney to the school where she keeps a turtle in a box and a crow tied to the balcony.  The kiss McBurney shares with this twelve year-old is genuinely creepy.

The school contains Miss Martha (Page) who hasn't had sex since her brother left, a teacher, a female black slave, Hallie, and a half-dozen students, all of whom seem to spend their days listening to the sounds of battle close by and dreading/anticipating being raped by soldiers from both sides.  Elizabeth Hartman plays Miss Edwina, the teacher, who doesn't trust any man but is eager to fall in love.  Elizabeth Hartman was a timid, but excellent actress who had previously won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Oscar for her role as the blind girl who falls in love with Sidney Poitier in A Patch of Blue.  After appearing in The Beguiled and Walking Tall, her career floundered and her last acting job was voice work in The Secret of NIMH.  She killed herself in 1987 by jumping from a 5th floor window.  Geraldine Page would die just three days later.

Miss Martha agrees to take in this severely wounded enemy soldier, and with the help of her slave, Hallie, they tend to his wounds and put him to bed to recuperate.  Hallie is portrayed by Mae Mercer, daughter of actual tobacco sharecroppers.  Mae ran away from home at the age of 15 to sing in blues bars in New York and Paris.  She would also later play Maybelle in the movie Frogs.

The sexual tension, jealousies, and infighting start among the girls before ol' John McBurney can even crawl out of bed.  The sexy Jo Ann Harris plays Carol, the seductress who tells Edwina that she'd be glad to wash the parts that Miss Edwina won't. 

Two of the girls, Doris and Janie, have no interest in bedding this Yank.  Like true southern belles, they view him as an enemy blue-belly and consider Miss Martha's actions in harboring him as treasonous.  Also look for the soap star Melody Scott Thomas in an early role as Abigail. 

With roving groups of Confederate patrols looking to capture or kill lost Yankees or partake of the pleasures of Miss Martha's girls,the tension mounts and with several ladies to choose from, McBurney chooses poorly.    Then the true horrors get started.  And then they continue.

The movie now becomes delectable and tasty to spoil any more of it.  If you're an Eastwood fan, a Southern Gothic fan, a psychological thriller fan, or a horror fan, then by all means serve yourself up some good ol' southern home cooking.  If your soul is dark, then The Beguiled is soul-food.  Dig in.

Join us next time as we saddle up and head south of the border to Mexico to live out every little cowboy's dream, but don't wait on me--feel free to scare yourself now.