Come on nieces and nephews -- grab your stick and let's gather 'round the termite mound.  Invite those little lemurs too--they look tasty, and after tonight's tale, we may want something more hearty than termites and fruit.

You know your Uncle Pump--he likes his wine.  A perfectly aged Cabernet with a juicy steak, a dry Chardonnay with smoked salmon, and fine cheeses like an old English Stilton with an Australian Shiraz, but every now and then, the soul cries out for some Boone's Farm Apple wine with some fake american rubber cheese.  And that brings me to thinking of my old friend Tarzan and our feature film, The Undertaker and his Pals.

Yep--that Tarzan--I knew him well back in the day.  And not the toned-down politically correct version in the movies and TV.  Lord Greystoke my ass!  We used to call him Little Lord Gaystroke.  Man, he hated that.  But he tried to get all cocky once he found out he was an English Lord and we weren't having any of that and since he had started it anyway when he first coined the term, "Spanking your Monkey"--yeah, yeah--go ahead and laugh--HAHA-- I never thought it was funny when he constantly refered to his piece as his "monkey".  He'd swing up in the trees and start relieving his stress above our heads--nasty bastard.  The real Tarzan was like a cross between Beavis and Butthead and Michael Myers.  He was a very  scary bastard once he found that  damn knife.  But really, I liked him--we were friendly enough.  He was the one who turned me onto tonight's film.  Once he started traveling back and forth between the human world and ours, we started getting access to your books, movies, wine, etc.  We'd give him lists of things to bring back from "civilization". 

The time was the mid-sixties, and were asking to see the great Universal classics with the deep black and white images and the great classical scores and the beautiful Hammer films with their wonderful creatures and cleavage spectacles.  But  then he brought us Bloodfeast and it was all over then.  This new type of horror film had been born--the gore film.  Tarzan loved this stuff.  All the suspense had been removed and replaced with blood or even innards.  The classical scores were replaced with some trippy jazz that certainly liked the sax as much as we like the guitar now.  It became a time for hep cats and be bop and since he was the original swinger, he fit right in.  And some of these movies kinda grew on me--I always did like seeing a human get mutilated.  I haven't seen ol' Tarz in quite awhile.  I like to think he's back in africa somewhere still trying to ride the elephants like they used to show him doing in the old movies.  In reality the elephants would grab him with their trunks and throw his dumbass on the ground, but he loved it.  He did like his extreme sports like gator wrasslin.  The old boy woulda been hell on a skateboard.

So back to our purpose and in honor of Tarzan, I present to you: The Undertaker and His Pals.

They have a great tagline: Cannibalism was never so funny.   And I think that's where the charm in this film lies.  The movie never takes itself seriously. Never pretends to be a good movie or even a good horror movie.  But it sure looks like it was fun to make and you can tell they were having a good time.

In 1965, Herschell Gordon Lewis gave us Bloodfeast, which I believe was probably the first "gore" film, certainly his first.  He would later continue this new gore genre with the original versions of 2000 Maniacs and The Wizard of Gore.  But Gordon didn't give us this little gem that was clearly trying to capitalize on the suprising sucess of Bloodfeast.  The Undertaker and His Pals was written and directed by one Mr. T.L.P. Swicegood.  Who? you may ask and the answer is : exactly.

Clearly these guys look like an Undertaker and his Pals.  Much like the director, all the actors would invoke that response of "Who"?except for maybe the Undertaker himself, Ray Dannis who was also in The Corpse Grinders.

Yes we have covered the director and cast already--not much to tell.  Plot?  oh yes it has a plot.  Plot that makes much sense?  C'mon now you can't have everything.  It's the story of three friends; Mort the Undertaker, and Doc and Spike, owners of the Greasy Spoon Diner.  To cut costs they dress up in leather, mount their motorcycles and seek out young ladies to mutilate.  Doc and Spike take the choice cuts like the legs of Sally Lamb and the breasts of Anne Poultry to serve in the diner, while The Undertaker gets the bodies to fix-up and provide funeral services for.  He is the Dapper Dan of the funeral parlor crowd.

The rest of the cast is rounded out by a fat cop, a suprised photogenic sailor (you'll see), a dumb and dashing private eye, and all the women who want to get in his pants at first sight--and of course the lovely victims, some of which, fall into the prior category.

Now to sum this flick up, let's go good uncle/ bad uncle on it.

Bad uncle says:  No getting around the fact this movie is poorly directed, badly written, awfully acted--even the lighting sucks.  The props and sets are bad and thrown together.  The music is a kind of twitchy porno jazz with lots of loud horns.

Good Uncle says:  Possibly the funniest of the early gore films.  Many things to laugh with and at and inbetween and even during the laughing, there are stabbings, chain lashings, acid vats, kitchen surgery, and even more gruesome goodness that I won't spoil.

By now , you're probably saying, "Uncle Pump, this doesn't sound like one of your Dusty Musties"

And you're probably right--I can't find the Mustie in it myself.  I can't bring myself to proclaim this as a "must-see" movie, but in my very first blog post, I did say some would just be personal favorites and I am giving this movie the Uncle Pump Personal Favorite Free Pass.  Now, on the other hand, I do think it qualifies as a "Dusty" .  Of the early Gore films from the mid to late sixties, I believe this has probably been the most overlooked and under viewed.  I've met quite a few people who have heard of or seen the original versions of Lewis' films like The Wizard of Gore.  I've met very few who have even heard of this movie. It's a Dusty alright.

At barely an hour long, it'll go by quick.  If you can, get the version put out on Dvd by "Cheezy Flicks".  The old trailers and drive-in advertisements in the special features contains some very funny moments.

So yes I was a swingin hep cat too, just like Tarzan, so if you really want to swing like the jungle boy--check this groovy little movie out.  And don't miss the finale song--whatever you do.  Now run along and try to scare yourselves.