Gather round children, for I've got a nice quaint little holiday story to tell. a violent little twisted take on a holiday classic.  If I missed anyone, my apologies (I tried to limit myself to the number of lines in the original), but I hope you have a good holiday season too.  And if you have meter complaints...you try rhyming Cthulhu (for example).  And now, boils and ghouls.....*clears throat*

'Twas a few weeks 'til Christmas, and 'round the Ossuary,

Not a creature was stirring...seems kinda solitary.

The stockings were stabbed to the chimney, you'll find,

They're a little bit bloody...their owners won't mind.

Attrage provided them, straight from the Outback.

We didn't ask questions...though there were feet in the sack.

And Horrorqueen and Horrorczar sat on their thrones,

Atop a growing pile of tiny elven bones.

When suddenly, a noise! Straight from the snow!

MadMolly thought it was Moseley! Look at her go!

Lucy, Lestat, and bloodlust smelled blood,

See how their fangs glisten at the sound of the thud.

Kittylicks thought she'd work on being a surgeon,

What better to carve up than a poor, hapless virgin.

Petalbo was hoping that it was Cthulhu,

It's tentacles all dripping with slime and goo.

But nope...it's just me. See the suit and the axe?

Zombie reindeer draw the sleigh, they don't leave tracks.

And ZombieMaster, I know you, you want to hear names...

"Now, Carpenter! now, Fulci! now, Bava and Argento!

On, Hooper! on Gordon! on, Kaufman and Romero!"

Quick stop over here, watch out for the monkey!

Pumboy'd be pissed if we landed so clunky!"

Creepiechic was there, always fast to greet.

The horrormom's important, her presence a treat.

BorednViolent, as well. Kaufman eats out her hand.

Timbodi's found Argento, she's always been a big fan.

I've got plenty of gifts...for Serpentine, a snake.

For Unscareable, a movie unable to take.

DoctorLoomis got a tracker to put onto Myers.

Here's hoping he stops him before he retires.

Type O for Lucy, Lestat and Bloodlust,

I get my supplies from a source you can trust;

Kittylicks gets a brand new chainsaw,

Cuts right through bone...it's like POOF! VOILA!

BorednViolent gets tickets to a horror convention,

with guests too numerous and sundry to mention.

Timbodi gets a big-screen tv,

The better to help with the film study;

ZombieMaster gets an assortment of weapons,

Lots of blunt objects and guns by the tons;

MadMolly gets another trip to see ruins,

Sorry, can't kidnap Moseley. Nuh uh. Nothin Doin.

To Attrage, I present fresh victims for play,

I hope there's enough airholes that they get there okay;

Pumpboy gets a new video cam,

One hopes his next movie will really jam;

Tways gets himself a boomstick and cricket bat,

Petalbo, the Necronomicon...careful with that.

And lastly, for the Czar and the Queen, I grant,

This twisted poem, this rhyming rant.

And now, everyone, it's time to go, thanks a bunch,

For you see good dear folks...I'm having someone for lunch.

But before I run off, here's one last line,

"Merry Christmas to all, and a new year bloody fine!"