It's no secret around this site that I hate Chiller Theatre with a raw seething passion.  It's too many guests in too small a place, autographs and photos INVARIABLY cost 10 dollars more than any other con, and they act like they're a horror con when, even this year with their Zombie 30th Anniversary reunion and NOTLD reunion, they're not and are more of a classic tv, regular tv, music con.

Thats why I always will attend, every time I can, my favorite convention, Monstermania.  Usually it's in Cherry Hill, NJ (in March and August), and this year they added a summer show (in June in Hartford, CT).  It's smaller, with all or almost all horror guests, cheaper autographs, and better organization.  9 times out of 10, its run like a well-oiled machine and has guests who respect fans and fans who respect the con and the guests as well.  It's also a very nice, cordial place.  Whereas at Chiller, I don't recommend it to people who don't own shoulderpads, a football helmet, a faceguard, a shield, a medieval lance, a suit of armor, and the ability to breathe fire on random passersby when they inevitably bump you, jostle you, and cut in your lines (but, I digress).

So here's my report from the convention March 13th-15th.  This was a little tougher a con because of my finger injury (for those not in the know, I have four stitches in my little finger from broken glass shattering and just WRECKING it) but it was also the best time I've had at a Monstermania because I split a hotel room with my friends Maura and Jess and had so much fun doing that (there is no fun like thin crust Dominos pepperoni pizza at 11PM on a friday with a light buzz) that ill probably do it whenever it is possible/feasible again. I should also mention this con was even BETTER put together than usual since they'd basically segregated the celebrities in two rooms before the ticket room and put all the vendor rooms beyond the ticket window.  Helped flow and traffic a ton.  On we go:

FRIDAY:

CAROLINE WILLIAMS:

Caroline Williams talked with us about two things mainly.  First, about playing Stretch Brock in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and the cult following the film has gotten.  And that...thing sitting over our shoulder.  Yep, Caroline Williams will be playing Dr. Maple in Rob Zombie's Halloween 2.  She said there are a lot of things she knows about the story but cant say of course because theyre still filming.  Also, she said her script when she got it was looked over by a psychiatrist (as Maple is a psychiatrist) and he had to have them rework the lines because he'd never talk that way.

After this, we met with Steve Gonsalves and Dave Tango of Sci Fi channel (I refuse to type their new damn abbreviation)'s Ghost Hunters.  I'm personally not an avid viewer, but I freely admit I like that the show takes a skeptical look at the whole phenomenon and really does appear to be quasi...halfway...scientific about it.  Steve was just like he was when we saw him at Fango in June last year.  Seemed inconvenienced to be there.  Blah about the whole thing.  Dave on the other hand was talkative, lighthearted, friendly, and genuinely seemed happy to be there and interested in what the fans were saying.  So watch the show for Dave, not Steve is I guess what I'm saying.

PHANTASM REUNION

Clockwise from top left:  Don Coscarelli (director), Kat Lester (The Lady in Lavender), Reggie Bannister (Reggie, The World's Toughest Ice Cream Man), Bill Thornbury (Jody)

I'll talk more about what Don Coscarelli said about such things as Bubba Nosferatu and Phantasm V later when I talk about the panel.  For now:  Coscarelli seems to me to be one of the most genuinely nice directors and overall people I've ever met at these cons.  He answered all our questions, genuinely seeming to care that we understood him or wanting to know what we wanted him to tell us.  He talked about his body of work...Kenny and Company, Jim The World's Greatest, Beastmaster (in particular on that one, how HBO used to show it all the time back in the olden days).  We talked about how great a guy Angus Scrimm is.  How genuinely proper and a true gentleman he is (I should know, I spoke with him for 10 minutes at Fangoria.)

Kat Lester talked with us about her famed.....stunt chest....and how it came to pass that it occurred that way.  See, she'd agreed to do the entire lady in lavender scene in Phantasm.  She also had been told it would be a closed set.  And it was "closed"...except for everyone being there on set.  So they got someone else to do it.  You can imagine the fun of sitting next to your mother at the premiere.  Her mother knew though.  Told her she should have done it herself and would have done it better.  Fun story.

Reggie Bannister talked with us about my finger.  He was one of four people to do that.  Thatll come up later.  He also talked about the family atmosphere on Phantasm sets.  Great guy.

Bill Thornbury talked about how he's recorded the full version of "Sittin' Here at Midnight".  He sells it at cons.  He also happens to be a music teacher now.  He doesn't go out of his way to tell the class his Phantasmic life.  They just kinda discover it on their own.  And when they do, they start mimicking silver balls of death hitting them in the head.  Fun times. 

FAIRUZA BALK

Fairuza Balk talked with us about her work in The Craft, Pick Me Up, and Return from Oz (which I totally didn't know she was the star of until the convention).  We talked about working with Larry Cohen in doing Pick Me Up.  Really really nice and seemed happy to be meeting the fans.  And she's still hot.  There I said it.  Moving on.

FRIDAY THE 13TH PT. 2 REUNION:

Stu Charno(Ted), Amy Steel(Ginny), John Furey(Paul)

Stu Charno was Ted in Friday 2.  Ted was weird.  Stu is....Ted.  Seems the role was quite the stretch.  Let me put it this way.  That up there?  That's really his hair.  That's also what he freely chose for his pose.  He sells High Ku.  You know, stoner poetry.  And I'm not showing you the photo he took with Maura and Jess where he grabbed their heads and held them against his own then wouldnt let them go for a few seconds afterwards.  Nice guy.  Abnormally strange, but nice.

Amy Steel was super nice.  We talked about my thesis (which I'm nearing completion of the serialization of.  90s and conclusion left).  If I had seen the movie when I wrote it, I definitely wouldve talked about her as a strong protagonist since shes one of the slasher prototypes.  We also talked about her role in April Fool's Day and how good a movie it is.  As a result, she congratulated me on my movie taste.

John Furey just seemed genuinely happy to be there and talk with us.  The panel with the other victims that he was a part of later seemed to bear that out, as youll see.

ROBBI MORGAN

Robbi Morgan, Annie the hitchhiker from Friday, was F13's first ever victim.  She was really nice and spoke a lot about how fun it was to work with Tom Savini on her kill.  Also mentioned that shirt.  She said she went to go find clothing for the con and found the shirt seen here that almost matches her movie wardrobe exactly. She got so many comments on it that she wore it all weekend.

Not pictured are Betsy Palmer (long line, I was tired), Lance Henriksen (who everyone should meet now for the simple fact that I found out he cut his appearance fee and was planning to not let them pay for his hotel room when he agreed to appear on a weeks notice to replace Tobe Hooper.  Which shows you just how well stars are treated by this con...and how bad Corey Haim mustve been to have the head of the con say (while a Lost Boys trailer aired while they stalled for time) "Oh god, not Corey Haim again".  There were also Jasons and victims and much of the cast of F13 2009.  But thosell come up in the panels.

SATURDAY:

ALICE COOPER

This wasnt nearly as rough as Robert Englund.  I did have to wait like 4 hours though.  Avoided sunburn through cloudiness and strategic use of my coat.  Managed to actually read the issue of Rue Morgue I had him sign, cover to cover.  Spoke with people behind me about criminally underappreciated House of Wax remake and Paris Hilton and the brilliant Repo!  The Genetic Opera (now in a midnight screening and possible shadowcasting near you).  I also had him sign a photo for some guys at work.  He was another who asked about my finger, I talked with him about his interview.  I just wish he'd been selling his new album Along Came A Spider.  Had to buy it from Best Buy next day.  Really good.

THOMMY HUTSON AND ANTHONY MASI

These are the producers of the Friday the 13th retrospective documentary "His Name Was Jason", a really good piece that I highly recommend.  We originally met them Friday and then I came back once Id bought a copy in the vendors room.  They actually didnt have any to sell themselves but signed for free, which was nice.  They were fantastic and really enthusiastic.  We talked with them about working with Tom Savini (they've heard the good and the bad stories about Mr. Savini and since I have one of each, that's understandable).  We even saw them Friday night while drinking in the hotel bar.  Super awesome guys, BUY. THEIR. MOVIE.

LLOYD KAUFMAN

You wanna know how great and brilliant a man the head of Troma is?  How kind he is and appreciative of his fans?  He signs tromabilia free (whether you bought it there are not).  He answers all the fan's questions.  And, in my case, he actually reopened his line, just for me, because I'dve gotten in before they closed it (he had to leave at 4), but I was having someone behind the counter sign Poultrygeist(THATS a family.  THATS Troma.).  He also signed my copy of Direct Your Own Damn Movie, with the words "James is a genius" (hell yeah).  Buy that book, and his upcoming in August book, PRODUCE Your Own Damn Movie (as well as upcoming dvds for both).  I also met the director and the writer of Super Tromette Action Movie Go!, a movie Troma is selling that they allowed to be set in the Troma universe.  Whenever I get around to watching it (and you think YOU have a big "to watch" list ZombieMaster..), I'll give my thoughts.

There'd be an autograph of Walter Phelan here...Dr. Satan from House of 1000 Corpses and the monster in Fair-Haired Child...but the damn ATM guy couldnt fix the ATM fast enough.  I had to walk all the way down rt. 70 to a pizza place for money, and by the time I got back, he was done for the day.  I guess I'll get it at some other point.

PHANTASM REUNION PANEL:

L to R:  Bannister, Thornbury, Lester, Coscarelli

First off:  Phantasm V.  They're trying to get something together for the 30th Anniversary but it hasnt fully come together yet.  Bubba Nosferatu?  No matter how hard they tried, Bruce Campbell will not be donning the Elvis outfit again.  Instead we have an agreement with RON PERLMAN!  Could work.  Other things:  Reggie has no sex scenes and gets the shit kicked out of him in the Phantasm series because 1) it's in his contract (joke) and 2) "This is how I treat my friends".  Also, apparently we don't have Phantasm 2 over here because Universal is still smarting over Anchor Bay buying Army of Darkness from them and doing a bunch of releases.  Kat Lester was never told how she was related until the Tall Man while she was acting.  Mike wasn't in Phantasm 2 as A. Michael Baldwin because Universal told Coscarelli that he could have Bannister or Baldwin, and he chose Bannister.  Don's middle of the road on a Phantasm remake because he feels that it could be improved in someone elses hands, but its also his baby and he wants originality more than the same thing redone.  Coscarelli also said he chooses to do horror because he likes to elicit that reaction from an audience (if you do comedy, for good or bad, for example, the audience laughs at your work).  Fave horror:  Bannister is a Hitchcock guy, Thornbury a Body Snatchers man, and Lester likes The Exorcist.  Coscarelli also mentioned that it was an honor to work with Ossie Davis on Bubba Ho-Tep and that he wished that Ossie could see the following that film generated and attend one of these events.  Oh, and Angus Scrimm wasnt Coscarelli's first thought for the Tall Man.  Reggie was.  But he thought better of it.  MOVING ON

FRIDAY THE 13TH KILLERS:

L to R:  Steve Dash (2), CJ Graham(6), and Richard Brooker(3)

These men VOLUNTEERED to be here when they heard they were gathering F13 people.  That's fan devotion.  (Betsy Palmer was sick, so while she was able to sign all day, she'd become to tired for this, which is understandable) Also, the Jasons are kind of like a fraternity (as such they're kinda breaking in and "hazing" Derek Mears.  But in a nice way).  They want to know, also, why the person who plays Jason doesnt get a starring credit (example:  Robert Englund plays Krueger, and his names on the poster.  Jasons usually arent.)  I agree with their logic in that, as they put it, you don't watch these movies to see who he's killing, you watch to see how he kills them.  They talked about how each Jason adds their own moves to the mythos and style.  They ragged on each other of course.  Richard Brooker mentioned (over and over) that the hockey mask was not in the script and was an ad-lib.  He also mentioned he was supposed to kill the final girl in his movie in the original script.  Steve Dash mentioned that he became Jason because Warrington Gilette couldn't do the stunts.  CJ also mentioned how hard the underwater kill was since he kept needing air so often.  And finally, in terms of favorite kills, Dash is a fan of the wheelchair, Graham likes the sheriff.  And we won't mention the drunken idiot who got thrown out for beligerently asking about the remake when no one was talking about it.  ONWARD!

FRIDAY THE 13TH VICTIMS:

L to R: Robbi Morgan (F13 1), John Otrin (F13 7), Judie Aronson (F13 4), VC Dupree (F13 8) surrounded by Camilla and Carey More (F13 4), Amy Steel (F13 2) and John Furey (F13 2).

These guys, like the Jasons, continually mentioned how much they appreciate the fans.  Half of these people had never done these before and they really valued our admiration.  Other things:  Robbi Morgan did her own stunts, Judie Aronson nearly got hypothermia filming her death because of how she had to be partially under freezing water for most of it.  John Furey's character, famously with an unknown death, was left to the imagination.  Though in a draft Amy Steel was sent for F13 3 before she turned it down, he died.  So theres the answer to that mystery.  VC Dupree liked the remake, the More twins thought that Crispin Glover was just wildly eccentric, including the famed dance.  And most of them liked their deaths, though one of the More's said she shouldn't have died because she was a good girl in the movie, which is true.  And Amy Steel related how she almost severely injured people on set with Jason's machete in a famous scene because she swung too soon.  NEXT!

FRIDAY THE 13TH 2009 PANEL:

L to R:  Arlen Escarpeta (Lawrence), Derek Mears (Do I really need to say?), America Olivo (Amanda)

You can love or hate this movie.  I don't really care.  Personally, I liked it.  But I'll say this.  From meeting these three, and talking to Arlen in particular, I can honestly say these people are genuinely nice people who love the genre, love the fans and have a lot more respect than some might think people in a remake do for the fans.  Derek's actually a big Jason fan but he wisely chose not to look at the past for inspiration and made the character his own.  Arlen is an NES freak and actually has one in his car.  I also found out about a lot of things that were cut.  For example, Jason kills a certain pothead near a pot bush..because when he pees, hes peeing on Jason's or Jason's mothers grave.  That was cut out.  Also, Amanda's death was longer when they made it and they actually trimmed it (shes the bait hanging over the fire) because THEY SAID AUDIENCES WERE LOSING THEIR LUNCHES.  Regarding sequels?  Mears has a two picture deal with Dunes...but he doesnt have to use it on F13 2, and they havent asked him to yet.  He also believes, as do many, that Jason is one of the ultimate victims, not so much a villain.  These three and everyone else seem to have great chemistry.  They still get together all the time.  Tis probably because they actually got them together two weeks early, told them to live it up, and they got to know each other that way.  America also mentioned that the sex scene was ad-libbed in terms of dialogue, but the "closed set", as Derek so beautifully reenacted, was indeed closed.  Except for the grips who kept walking by pretending to drop stuff.  Arlen also mentioned choosing the wok and poker as a premeditated ad lib to pick up the least useful items possible.  Finally, Mears actually called Travis Van Winkle ("Trent") who was supposed to be there.  He's a jackass in the movie, but he's a great guy.  Apologized to everyone.  Answered questions...said that famous line about stupendous tits.....discussed his decidedly revealing attire in Meet the Spartans.  One of the most enjoyable, truly fun panels of them all.  And really, they all were fantastic panels with lots of fun and banter.

After that, I had a chicken caesar salad.  No dressing.  And a snickers.  And a can and a half of coke.  It was 1030.  This was so I'd be able to stay up for....

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW

I've never seen this movie.  I went to the shadowcast.  They sold bags of the usual throwing stuff (i'm not a complete dunce here).  Lots of yelling back at the screen as to be expected.  I loved the movie.  I just wish I could've heard half the dialogue over the roar.  lol.  Great fun.

And lastly:  Costumes:

RUNNERS UP:

Anyone can wear slutty clothing and fishnets...whether they should or not....and there were many of both.  But I will always recognize the creativity and work that comes from making your very own Saw Jaw trap.

And that brainzombie...So close, but that brain's so fake looking.  The makeups great, but you could tell it was makeup...which is why he's a runner up.  As opposed to:

THE COSTUME OF THE CON:

Yes really.  I thought it was a mask.  He never moved his face a muscle.  He was PERFECT.  Up close, it was literally like standing next to Frankenstein.  This may be one of the best costumes I've EVER seen at a con.  And it sure made the 4 and a half hour Cooper wait easier.

So that's that.  I've actually finished this.  I tried to write it last night, but one of my friends aimed me a link, I open it and firefox go crashy crashy and delete everything.  All you need to know is that if you're in the PA, NJ, DE, NY, etc area, GO TO A MONSTERMANIA.  In Hartford, they've got all the Nightmare people, and they're gonna have Derek Mears and some other....rather evil people (I'd say who but they havent posted them yet...but I do know who).  And as for August...all I will say is itll be hairy.  And awesome.  This is the only con that truly respects its fans and it has my undying dollar and ticket money.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

By comparison, begrudgingly, next up will be Chiller in April.  I'm avoiding Saturday like the plague.  One of two things will occur.  Everyone will buy Sat. tix in advance and Sunday will still be clear, or they'll all move to Sunday and I'll still get screwed.  Either way, at least Friday will go well...if crowded and badly organized...and just generally unfocused.

Until next time, this is Crypticpsych saying....

...that "a young boy drowned the year before those two others were killed? The counselors weren't paying any attention... They were making love while that young boy drowned. His name was Jason......."