Well, that's what I wanted it to be - but I'll admit I did see more than 80s movies. My best friend and I got back from a 3-week hike in Spain (somehow managing to get back without killing each other) and I decided that, to finish off our last summer together (before I went off to college and she went off to Seattle), we really needed to see some horror movies... some I'd never seen before and felt guilty about it. Another friend of mine, who introduced me to Rue Morgue and grew up in the 80s, was always giving me lists of 80s horror movies that he'd grown up on and felt were essential. Last summer really was more the "summer of horror" than of 80s movies because we watched much more than the 80s stuff, but our focus was primarily in that "Friday the 13th" area. (The problem with getting into a genre is that once you think you're getting the hang of it, you find out how much you're really missing out on. The biggest thing that came out of our 80s summer was the realization that there is still a ways to go.) The point of this blog entry thingy is mainly to cover the horror movies seen last summer, using my handy review notebook as a reference (and to remind me of what we saw), and to just say a little about each one. I do this a lot. It's a hobby.

Day One:

1. We started with Friday the 13th, just because it's one of the big(gest) ones. I remember that my biggest nitpick with this one was that the funny guy died within a half hour or so. Also, the impression I got from this one is that it's really much better in good company. My friend and I watched it on our moth-eaten couch from the mid-70s, eating chocolate and scaring the shit out of each other in suspenseful scenes. I don't remember being too highly impressed with this as a film, but I do remember being able to see why it was so popular when it came out. Not to mention the music actually is kind of creepy.

2. Next we went with Silent Night, Deadly Night, because my Rue Morgue buddy was always telling me to watch this one. This is the one where Linnea Quigley gets impaled with antlers, I believe. By this time I had learned to really not expect a masterpiece (I might've been expecting that from Friday the 13th) and I think that's why I managed to enjoy it a bit more. (One of the things I wrote in my movies notebook: Basically, you watch this to yell at the people on-screen. "You stupid moron, do not answer the door.") Sometimes you really do need to see that type of movie. I haven't seen the sequel, by the way, but I've seen a clip of the garbage day scene and heard that it's one of the worst movies ever. Is that true?

3. We ended the day with Sleepaway Camp, because it was getting dark and I thought it would be the least scary one. What's funny is that they got scarier as we went along. Silent Night, Deadly Night was just a tad bit more frightening than Friday the 13th (probably because I'm more likely to be killed by a crazy Santa Clause than go to summer camp). Sleepaway Camp was a whole different story. It was really, really stupid at first. I enjoyed the stupidity of it and my friend and I got a kick out of calling out the horrible 80s clothing (cut-off T-shirt, knee socks with shorts, etc.). We watched it without any idea of knowing the twist at the end or that there would even be one. In fact, we were confused because the identity of the killer seemed so obvious it was almost sad. (One thing that we did notice: at the beginning, when the family gets torn into by the idiots on the boat, we noticed that the son survived - not the daughter - and wondered why she seemed to be alive at her aunt's house. Ha ha.) For some reason, though, I could tell this one would be my favorite out of the three we saw that day - I couldn't figure out why. Toward the end, we began to guess what the twist was and, though we guessed right, when the twist popped up I can't believe how much it scared us. I think it was the face that thing was making and the creepy-ass laugh. We also thought it was ironic that we saved the one we thought wouldn't scare us for last and in the end it was the only one that actually even slightly gave us the creeps.

That's the only day I really remember exactly what we watched, so here's the rest of the month or so:

1. There were only one or two days when we only saw one movie, but one of those days was our Night of the Living Dead day. I'd never seen it before, and I honestly wasn't much of a zombie fan (that's changed in the last year, though I never really noticed how or when or why). When I first saw this I appreciated it but didn't love it (again, that's somehow changed in the last year). My highest praise for it was that it was a brilliant idea to make it in black and white, because that makes it timeless. All the gore in this is obviously fake, but in black and white you really can't tell. Another thing I really remember enjoying was how ironic the whole movie was. In the end, I'm quite aware of how great this movie is.

2. American Psycho was some random day. I realize that both that and Night of the Living Dead are not from the 80s, but I mentioned above that not all of these are. My first comment in my movies notebook is "What an odd little movie." Another thing I noted: "Basically what I learned from this movie is that I need to read the book." Oops, haven't yet. The reason I decided to see this besides the fact that I like horror movies is that I learned about it in the documentary "This Film Is Not Yet Rated." I was shocked that it was initially rated NC-17 because of THE SEX????? What???? The violence is so much more intense in this than the sex. Anyway, my last comment on this is that I really don't think they could have picked a better actor for this. Christian Bale was definitely the guy to do this. Listening to his little informative spiels as he was beating people with axes and chainsaws in his Howl voice (Howl's Moving Castle) was incredibly effective for this. In the end, that was what made it for me.

3. One of those days we mistakenly watched an awful movie called Cheerleader Camp. I rented it because I was inspired by Sleepaway Camp and thought I might be pleasantly surprised by it. (Later, my Rue Morgue buddy told me he could have warned me against it. How ironic.) Okay, so there were maybe two scenes that made me chuckle, mostly ones involving mascots trying to eat sandwiches or drunk camp counselors asking themselves if they are okay (and then reassuring themselves that they are), but overall it was terrible. The murders were bad, the acting was awful and the screenplay was even worse than the murders and acting put together. The dream sequences were just plain annoying and what was up with those red fade-outs? Overall, this was a very educational experience for me. It is the syllabus for the class "what makes a movie truly and honestly, suck a fart out of a monkey's asshole, bad."

4. April Fool's Day was a very nice change. As far as crappy 80s slashers go, this one was fantabulous. And though I won't give away the ending, I will say that this is one of the few movies they at least have an explanation for why the bodies, blood and gore is all so fake. Though this movie isn't exactly complex, it is slightly more so than many other slashers I've seen. It's amazing how much a little complexity will cut a fine line between cheesy and classic (Cheerleader Camp vs. April Fool's Day). One of the most amazing parts of this movie was not actually in the movie at all. At some point, my friend and I noticed that a Strauss piece that was playing in one scene was an ironically fitting soundtrack. We were content in listening to it for several more scenes until we paused it and realized that it was not coming from the movie but from the kitchen, where my mom was listening to it. It was really funny how fooled we were. We were giving the movie way more kudos than it deserved for something that wasn't even in it. Ha.

5. One day we decided to go Asian and watch Whispering Corridors. I don't know why I was so convinced that this was Japanese. I guess I read some misinformed person's review or something, or maybe I thought that "Memento Mori" was a Japanese phrase and that is the sequel to Whispering Corridors. Anyway, I was distracted for a little while there because I couldn't figure out why a Japanese movie would have characters with Korean names, would have people speaking something that sounded a little bit more like Korean than Japanese, and why the beginning titles had looked suspiciously like Korean letters instead of Japanese. Eventually I figured it out, but I just had to share a bit of my stupidity. Anyway, I felt that this movie was more intriguing than it was frightening. It was a little creepy how the ghost girl really didn't let anyone escape, but overall I wasn't very scared by this. I did find it interesting that I've noticed that Korean movies tend to have more a twist than Japanese movies though. Japanese movies really seem to just go with the flow instead of planning ahead. This was particularly a slick ghost movie, though it wasn't supposed to be. It was pretty raw and that seemed to work well for it. It was a little confusing, though, and I haven't really worked up the interest to see the rest of the trilogy.

6. The next one, Stacy, I think I watched with a different friend, another horror-freak (she's been my main horror movie buddy this summer, though I've had no company whatsoever since she trotted off in early July to visit her family in China for a chunk of the summer). What I liked about this one was that it was really pretty funny. The Near-Death Happiness was hilarious, and I loved the opening scene. My friend and I both agreed that this would have worked better as an anime, mainly because they could really have gone nuts with the violence. The Stacys were already like live-action anime characters and I really didn't think it would make that much of a difference.

7. Visitor Q wasn't really a horror movie. I saw it a year ago and am still not entirely sure how to respond to that. Why don't you watch it and let me know?

8. The Bird With The Crystal Plumage is, I think, one of the earliest Argento films I've seen. I've seen the Cat O' Nine Tails, which I think is a bit earlier, but I really can't remember. (I just imdb'd it - Crystal Plumage is his first and Cat is his second.) Anyway, this was when he was really trying to make a terrific first movie. You can see a bit of Hitchcock in this one - lots of suspense, and a very straightforward murder mystery-type story. I didn't like it quite as much as Tenebre and Deep Red, etc., but it's certainly much more impressive than some of his later movies. The Card Player, for instance. I can't believe how disappointed I was in that one. Anyway, I really did like The Bird With the Crystal Plumage.

9. My Rue Morgue buddy recommended High Tension to me, and I watched it on my own. My first impression was that the title does not lie. This movie is very tense!!! High tension all around for High Tension. Though this film didn't really have such an original twist, I didn't exactly see this coming and it did surprise me very much when I saw what the police saw on that television camera in the gas station. I've seen this a couple of times and I've found it that I enjoy it more and more each time I see it. Again, I didn't love the twist because it was so unoriginal, but that's really okay because the rest of the movie makes up for that.

10. I started watching Se7en when I was sixteen or so, on my own at around midnight, and turned it off five minutes in. I knew that it would be my type of movie - I read the synopsis and knew right away that I would love it. Unfortunately, gluttony is one of my worst fears and the thought of someone being force-fed to death is downright terrifying to me. I turned it off when I was sixteen and finally got around to seeing it last summer with my best friend and my then-boyfriend. Once we got past that awful scene, the rest of the movie really had me riveted. Kevin Spacey rules the film, I think, though I'm really glad I saw American Beauty before this or I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it to its full extent. What I mean by this seems like my type of movie is that I'm pretty fascinated by killers who have such a creepy M.O. thingy - like killing according to the seven deadly sins.

Day I Don't Know What:

1. I remember that we watched the following three all in one day. We started with Slumber Party Massacre. The only thing I really liked about this was its score, though I can't remember it a year later. It's just what I wrote about in my movies notebook. I don't remember being highly impressed with this one. Two things that bother me to no end in a slasher: a) when people go looking for the killer. The killer might as well have set a mousetrap for these idiots. b) when they don't make sure the killer is dead!!! This movie did okay on a, but b... not so much! Another thing my friend and I found.... puzzling, to say the least: later I'll mention Sorority House Massacre. What I won't mention is that we started watching the sequel to that, but we never finished it. What was weird about Sorority House Massacre 2 is that there are flashbacks in it to what happened in the sorority house, but the flashbacks are footage from the ending of Slumber Party Massacre! The movies are not related, plot-wise. This was so weird!

2. The second one we watched was Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers. Like the first one, props on the creative murders such as the outhouse death. Besides all that, it wasn't too amazing. Grown-up Angela has nothing on her younger self. She's just a nice person with a nasty side, whereas younger Angela was creepy through and through. Also, she was a boy. Overall, this was more cheesy fun than anything else. We did have fun making fun of how crappy some of those actors were.

3. Sorority House Massacre was really not all that bad. Last I checked, it had 2/10 on imdb while Slumber Party Massacre had about 4/10. Maybe I was getting used to all the shitty movies, but I really did like this one more than the latter. Absolutely no masterpiece whatsoever, but it was certainly much more well-made. The main character was pretty cheesy, but she did have a little bit of depth at least. The acting wasn't much (neither were the outfits), and it had cheesy dream sequences. But it also delivered one or two decent chills (or maybe it was just nighttime). Again, the victims weren't complete idiots, which was nice. If you must watch crap, watch this crap - it's probably the closest you'll get to a polished turd.

That was pretty much it except for a Masters of Horror episode, "The Fair-Haired Child," which did not impress me (to say the least). At the beginning of the school year I did see a few more, including "Happy Birthday To Me," which I loved. This is getting really long though, so I'll head out now. But I'll leave with a quote from an amazing 80s movie I saw early this May --

"Okay girls, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, your dates are here."

"What's the bad news?"

"They're dead."

                                                                          -Night of the Creeps

One last P.S. - In unintentional celebration of 80s horror, I've been reading Clive Barker's 1984 story "The Midnight Meat Train." :)